Ladies and Gents, a guest blog by Miss Erica. DO enjoy.
Allow me to be blunt: Sarah Palin's similarities to Hillary Clinton start somewhere below their necks and cut off just above their knees.
Last night, the DNC convention ended with a spectacular finish and a truly unified Democratic party. I'm not just talking about the magnificent speech, but the final conclusion of the primary business, and the end of the Clinton/Obama drama. The party has its nominee, and he has the full support of every single one of his primary opponents.
Barack Obama won this nomination, but Hillary Clinton lost absolutely nothing this week - in fact, she was better than ever, reminding us that she didn't need to be President to remain a powerful and inspiring voice for women- women who can now allow themselves to support a historical, all male Democratic ticket. Right? We're over it, and we're proud to be over it. Suck on that, media narrative!
Wait, what's that? John McCain has an announcement? He picked a lady running mate?? How enlightened of him! And shrewd- now he can finally cement the coveted PUMA vote. Congratulations to John McCain on picking up an extra hundred votes or so.
This maverick choice shows that, unlike that arrogant sexist Obama, John McCain believes that we are ready for a female President. But more than that! He believes we're ready for ANY female President! Wow. How magnanimous. How very forward-thinking. Bravo.
Who cares about her enthusiasm for oil drilling in the Alaskan Wilderness? Or about her positions on science and evolution (not so much)? And who cares about her hard-core anti-choice abortion stance that makes no exception for rape or incest? Sure, it's sounds anti-feminist, but it's probably just the PMS talking. Am I right, ladies? Cramps are the worst! Finally, a candidate who feels my pain - where it hurts the most.
I should be careful with my sarcastic derision of Sarah Palin, I know. Just like Joe Biden should be very careful not to destroy her in a debate, because that would make him a big bad bully. When we speak of our Republican opponants, we Democrats should praise "Govener Palin's courageous female-ness" to the respectful "Senator McCain's heroic service to this country" routine. I know we should take a page from Barack's playbook, and refrain from personal attacks.
I know that. But you know what? I really feel like making some personal attacks right now. Maybe just this once, before I start my period, and the cramps cause me to identify with her too much.
Sarah Palin is not SMART enough to be Vice-President. She is not EDUCATED enough to be Vice-President. She is not EXPERIENCED enough to be Vice-President. She has in no way WORKED HARD enough to be Vice-President. She is in NO WAY QUALIFIED to lead this country as President, in the likely event that her spry 73 year old running mate were to leave the job in her hands.
(By the way, anyone reading this who honestly believes you could say the exact same things about Barack Obama should probably delete me as a friend, because I think you're an idiot.)
She has a BA in journalism and no higher degree. She was the mayor of a town with the population of my neighborhood. For only two years she's been the Governor of fewer people than live in Chicago proper. She's the least qualified of any presidential or vice presidential candidate in modern political history. She has a baby with Down's Syndrome and four more children to raise. And we're expected to believe that she can bring all of that to the table, kick ass at the job, and manage to look good doing it! Women can do anything we put our minds to - we're just so magical.
My (female) friends, John McCain believes that you are stupid enough to vote for him, just for the warm fuzzy feeling of voting for a woman. He thinks you will ignore his recurrent displays of contempt towards women. He expects you to validate this decision, in the name of sisterhood. He has shown the depths of his contempt for women by appointing the least impressive among them to be his running mate.
In other words, ladies: John McCain just called you a cunt.
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Goodbye Housewives12 years ago
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About Me
- Caitlin Montanye Parrish
- I'm a Floridian playwright that makes her home in a cold, cold place called Chicago. I burn the candle at both ends. I can no longer remember a time when my shoulders were not tense. I am never bored.
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6 comments:
First of all, I think it's ridiculous for a woman to vote for McCain just becaue his VP is a woman. Same thing with Hillary. Second of all, most feminist groups (the grassroots ones anyway) have all denounced Palin and for good reason. I'm thinking McCain is trying to sway Hillary supporters to vote for him. At the same time, something in me asks if Mccain is really serious in choosing this woman for his VP when she is completely inexperiened and he doesn't even know her well enough to know whether or not she'll do a good job. Remember that Cheney (slimebag) has pretty much changed the role of the Vice President to one which is more invovled. I'm so scared right now.
Miss Erica is the rock starriest.
When I read that this Alaskan lady was going to be the VP, I thought it was a joke. I seriously thought someone had pulled a huge joke on CNN - why on earth was she chosen?
Oh, that's right. The Republican party thinks that the American people are STUPID enough to elect someone just because they are a certain gender, race or their hair is real pretty.
I hope that they're wrong. I hope that people look at a woman who is about as qualified as I am to be VP and realize that if they elect John McCain, she will be one step away from the White House.
Ew. I just threw up in my mouth a litte.
Not only are you the rock-starriest, you are the *funniest* rockstarriest! Brilliant post, my fellow vagina-american!
This entry is now cross-posted on my new blog, The Elite-est Elitist. http://elite-elitist.blogspot.com/
Good entry, I especially liked the closing statements. Part of me thinks that perhaps this is all part of McCain's plan to throw the election--it's the only explanation that makes sense to me.
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